venting...

God help me but i'm in need of some serious patience. i hate to dump all my problems on everyone, but i really need to do some venting. i don't know whether to blame it on my pregnancy hormones or what, but i feel like these days i have little to no patience whatsoever.

isabela has hit her terrible two's early and sometimes with all the tantrums and whining and crying i can't seem to hold it together...i get frustrated with her really easily and i feel horrible about it. (i'd like to think that i'm not the only mommy out there who loses her cool sometimes.) i know that i shouldn't be hard on her because she's still a "baby" and she can't really communicate with me yet, but i feel like if i let her get away with it and cry every time she gets angry, or frustrated or what have you, that she's going to continue doing it because she can. i don't want her to become spoiled...there are too many kids nowadays like that and i don't want isabela to become one of them.

what gets me the most is sometimes i feel like she doesn't like me or want to be around me because i yell at her to stop all the time. she's my baby girl and i would do anything for her. i would bend myself over backwards just so that she doesn't hurt in any way. it makes me want to cry sometimes because i see this look in her eyes...like she's disappointed in me, but then again i guess it's probably just me projecting my own feelings. i pray and hope she knows how much i love her even when i'm being mean mommy :/

if you can, please say a prayer for me and that God will be kind on me and give me more patience when it comes to her...i really don't want to act in a way or do something that i will regret later.