scary doesn't begin to describe it.

4.6.2012

so a couple of nights ago, around 3:15 a.m., my hubby and i were awakened by the sound of isabela crying. i usually just wait for her to quiet down and go back to sleep or come downstairs to crawl into bed with us, but this time something sounded wrong. i went upstairs and opened the door to the girl's room and saw isabela sitting on her bed, crying her eyes out, making this horrible barking cough sound and i noticed her gasping for air. i grabbed her and headed down to jaccob and told him i thought something was wrong with her. while jaccob was holding isabela trying to calm her down i could tell she was really struggling to breathe. i have never been so scared to death as i was in that moment. i was literally shaking and i could feel my heart racing. i tried to calm her down also, but it was so hard. i was trying so hard not to freak out in front of her. i didn't want her to panic.


anya had woken up with all the crying and i brought her downstairs so jaccob could hold her. my mom was visiting us at the time, but i didn't want to wake her and alarm her. within minutes i decided to drive her down to the emergency room, because i could feel it was something serious.

this was the scariest moment i have ever had as a mother and in my entire life. 

i just grabbed isabela, got into the car and headed for the e.r. the whole drive to the hospital i was speeding thinking that i didn't care if a cop tried to pull me over, because come hell or high water i was making it to the hospital as fast as i could drive. i even had thoughts that i should've just called 911 and waited for an ambulance to get to the house, but a bigger part of me thought that it would be better to drive her to where i knew doctors could take care of her.

i had been able to calm isabela down a little bit in the car, despite me quietly freaking out, but i could tell she was still gasping. when i got to the window of the e.r. and explained to the woman working there what her symptoms were she immediately told me it sounded like she had croup. now, i have been a mother for four years now and i have heard of croup before, but it never even occurred to me that that's what she could have or how familiar the 'seal barking' cough sounded to me. after the fact i was like, "of course! that's what that is." but before that i had no idea what was going on. seeing as how i was a mother in a state of panic, you can't really blame me can you? 

anyway, the nurse took some vitals and asked me to raise isabela's shirt so she could see her chest and the next thing i know she was talking to someone on the phone asking if room one was available. she got off the phone and told me to follow her. there were other people in the waiting room and i thought that it had to be something serious for us to be taken back to a room. i felt relieved she was going to be looked at by a doctor, but i was also freaking out more wondering what it was that made her jump ahead of the line.

when we arrived to the room the doctor came in and asked when everything had started and i told him that night. he ordered for her to get a steroid shot in her thigh and for a mask to be put on her to help control her breathing. they continued to check her vitals and informed me that she indeed did have croup and that it was a good thing that i had taken her to the e.r. the nurse then told me that isabela was having a very difficult time breathing, because of the swelling in her throat. her poor little body was working overtime just to get some air into her lungs. my God, really? if we hadn't of heard her or gotten her looked at, who knows what other story i'd be telling right now. i hate to even think about it. luckily, she was being taken care of and that's all that matters. 

we stayed in the e.r. for a couple of hours so they could monitor her and make sure she was holding up and around 6:30 a.m. the nurse came in and told me she was being discharged. after one more breathing treatment she seemed to be doing fine and i signed her discharge papers. the nurse explained to me that they had prescribed her oral steroids to be taken for the next five days and told me that if i saw signs of her having difficulty breathing (she told me to check her chest as they had because if below her sternum was concave again, it meant she was desperately trying to take in air) to call for an ambulance or bring her back to the emergency room.

i followed up with her pediatrician and was told that it looked like she suffered from some allergies and to give her some allergy medicine along with using an inhaler. the doctor said that her having allergies and getting croup was all interrelated; both of them affecting the airways. i'm just happy and relieved that she is fine now and the medicine seems to working.

i never want to experience something like that ever again and i pray that none of my other mom friends ever have to. there is no worse feeling in the world than seeing your child suffer or in pain and not being able to do anything about it. i would gladly take my child's place...there is no question about that.

to all of my family and friends who called or sent messages, i just wanted to thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers!  i am thankful for having you all in my life :)